reprinted
from the Idahostatesman.com
Against
the odds - Couple with Down Sydrome Marries
Post
Register
Jeremy Martinsen and Simone Nelson, who were both born with Down syndrome,
were married last month in Idaho Falls.
REXBURG — They met at Lava Hot Springs 3 1/2 years ago, swimming
in the hot pools.
She was there to celebrate her father´s birthday. He was there to
mourn the death of the family dog.
Brave soul that he was, Jeremy Martinsen swam up to Simone Nelson. They
struck up a conversation. They talked about their families, their love
of swimming, their love of Jesus Christ.
They began a long-distance relationship.
Jeremy lives in the small town of Afton, Wyo., renting a basement apartment
a few blocks from the Lincoln County School District headquarters, where
he works as a janitor.
Simone lives in Rexburg with her folks, taking classes at Brigham Young
University-Idaho and volunteering at Madison Memorial Hospital.
On Valentine´s Day 2003, he proposed.
“She had a present for me,” Jeremy said. “I had a present
for her.”
That present turned out to be a wedding ring, hidden in its velvet box
under a corner of Jeremy´s bedspread. As she lifted the blanket,
he got on his knees and asked for her hand.
Jeremy and Simone both were born with Down syndrome.
When she was born 24 years ago, doctors predicted Simone wouldn´t
live to see her second year. After Jeremy´s birth 29 years ago,
doctors didn´t say much of anything, aside from a prediction he
might not survive his first week.
Both have survived not only open heart surgery but also the occasional
ridicule that comes to those with their condition. The two married last
month in Idaho Falls at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
Temple.
“He´ll always be there for me,” Simone said as they
picked up their marriage license. “We´ll both live together,
go out on dates together. I´ve always wanted this.”
“I love her, and I´ll always love her,” Jeremy said.
When Jeremy was born, his doctors didn´t tell his parents, Dean
and Cindy Martinsen, much of anything.
“I was young,” Cindy Martinsen said. “Maybe they figured
I´d just have more kids after Jeremy was gone.”
The little infant struggled, often turning blue as his body fought for
oxygen. Consultations with other doctors got Jeremy to Salt Lake City
and on the right treatment path.
“He was our first child,” she said. “We made up our
minds that he would do everything everybody else does.”
He did. He and his closest sister, Erin, 27, graduated from Star Valley
High School the same year, 1994, two of 175 in the class. “He helped
me as much as I helped him,” Erin said. “He takes notes a
lot better than I ever did.” Jeremy, the oldest of six children,
wanted to serve a mission for the church and persisted with leaders in
Salt Lake City and in Wyoming enough that he was sent on a “mini-mission”
for three weeks to Omaha, Neb.
Throughout his life, he participated in Special Olympics, taking and still
holding Wyoming state titles in weightlifting.
“He´s made way more compassionate people out of my kids,”
his mother said. “All of them, except for the youngest, have been
involved with Special Olympics, coaching or being buddies.”
For almost a year, Jeremy has lived on his own. He´s written a book,
“The Book About Life,” which the family is self-publishing
this fall.
“It´s a book about what people go through in life, how they
have lots of different support,” Jeremy said.
“Philosophies have changed in the past 24 years, but when Simone
was born, we were told to put her in an institution and walk away,”
said Kathleen Nelson, Simone´s mother.
Instead, Garth and Kathleen Nelson took Simone the second of four children
home and the struggles began.
“She didn´t sleep hardly longer than 20 minutes at a time,”
she said. “We got so attuned to listening to her that if she did
sleep longer than that, we´d wake up and have to go in and shake
her to get her breathing again.”
Simone was born with three holes in her heart, common developmental defects
linked to Down syndrome. She had heart surgery to repair the holes at
10 months of age.
“I think what amazes me is that she´s always been a magnet
for people,” Kathleen Nelson said. “If we were at a church
function or somewhere else, people always came to see her. She was just
happy, babbling.”
Simone became a sports nut, always begging siblings, cousins and friends
into pickup basketball games. She was manager for Madison High School´s
volleyball squad and was chosen in her senior year as Senior Prom queen.
She graduated in 1994.
At Ricks College, where she took classes in fitness, swimming and religion,
she met Joann Reeve, head coach of the women´s volleyball squad.
She paired up with the team´s manager and performed duties such
as sweeping floors and occasionally participating in practices.
Simone also tended babies at the in-school nursery at Central High School,
the Madison School District´s alternative school, and volunteered
at Madison Memorial Hospital.
The Nelsons credit the community with Simone´s success.
“They say it takes a village to raise a child,” Kathleen Nelson
said. “Well, here is a child raised by an entire community. She
got so much help from students at school, teachers, others she worked
with.”
And they still are offering, Garth Nelson said. Contributions to a wedding
registry bank account have soared. “We´ll look at checks and
say, ´Wow, who is that?´ ” he said. “She´s
affected way more people than we´ve been able to send announcements
to.”
According to the New York-based National Down Syndrome Society, it´s
a myth that those with the disorder are unable to form close relationships
that lead to marriage. The story of Jeremy and Simone attests to that.
“This has been a dream of Jeremy´s forever,” said Cindy
Martinsen. “It´s not like we weren´t prepared for it;
it was just something he always hoped would happen. And here it is. It´s
meant to be.”
“We´re both spiritual people,” Jeremy said. “We
love each other. We´ll be together forever.”
Her father and his mother teased her at the county building when they
got their wedding license.
“Hey,” he said. “That´s the last time you´ll
sign your name as Simone Nelson. It´s Simone Martinsen, with an
´e,´ from now on.”
No matter the name, Jeremy and Simone believe they´ll make it. “We´re
going to live together in Wyoming,” Simone said. “We´ll
cook for each other. We´ll clean. We´ll be happy.”
Jeremy will continue his cleaning jobs. The Nelsons are trying to find
Simone a volunteer job with the local school district because she´s
on Wyoming´s waiting list for work for the developmentally disabled.
His parents live a scant 6 miles away.
“He´s got a lady they rent from who watches out for him,”
Cindy Martinsen said.
The Nelsons will visit as often as time permits. “It feels odd,
having her leave after such a long time with us,” Garth Nelson said.
“But it´s what she wants. We wouldn´t have it any other
way.”
“I remember something Jeremy said, pretty much to himself, as he
was riding in my car one day,” Garth Nelson said. “He kind
of sighed, raised his hands, and said, ´This is what I´ve
wanted all my life.´ I remember asking, ´What is that, Jeremy?´
He replied, ´Someone to love me for who I am, and a family to grow
into.´ He is completely, perfectly content, and so is Simone.”
Edition Date: 09-08-2003
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